Horrorstör

*Post contains affiliated links. Book purchased on Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. I don't remember. * 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! 

In the spirit of spookiness, today I'm reviewing pretty much the only kind of horror I'll read now. Yes, I went through the Stephen King phase when I was a teenager because peer pressure. I'd never give in to doing drugs, but "Hey, you should read this book. All the cool kids are doing it." got me every time! For the record, Cujo and Christine are my favorites, even though they scared the holy crap out of me. I'm still all for putting The Shining in the freezer (obscure Friends reference, but I related to Joey on a spiritual level with that one.) 

At some point I got old (like 20-something) and turned into a big 'fraidy cat. If you need proof of this, check out my ill-fated foray into horror video games here. 

I will tell you one of the most terrifying books I have ever read was a CHRISTIAN novel written by Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker tilted House.  Silly me, I thought something bought at Mardel's would be safe. Nope. Screw putting it in the freezer. I wanted to burn that one. I gave it away the first chance I had. 

Anyway, back to Horrorstör (yes, I learned how to make the little dot things—called an umlaut—and I am having way too much fun with it!)

Something strange is happening at the Orsk furniture superstore in Cleveland, Ohio. Every morning, employees arrive to find broken Kjerring bookshelves, shattered Glans water goblets, and smashed Liripip wardrobes. Sales are down, security cameras reveal nothing, and store managers are panicking.
 
To unravel the mystery, three employees volunteer to work a nine-hour dusk-till-dawn shift. In the dead of the night, they’ll patrol the empty showroom floor, investigate strange sights and sounds, and encounter horrors that defy the imagination.

A friend was reading this (see, always goes back to peer pressure) and told me about how fun it was. 

If you've ever been to Ikea,  you need to check out this book. It is written like an Ikea catalogue with a horror story (see what they did there?) woven between the illustrations. Each chapter starts off with something like this. 

It is satire, humor, and horror in an easy-to-assemble package. Just a little Ikea humor there, you don't really have to assemble anything. And if you have ever assembled something from The Den of Satan (as my husband calls it). You know there is NOTHING "easy" about it. You want to hear some horror stories? I can tell some Ikea horror stories! 

But the book is great. It was fun to read and just scary enough for someone like me. If you are hardcore horror fan, it might not be able to break through your can't-scare-me shell. Honestly, I don't know because I have nothing contemporary to compare it to—refer to the big 'fraidy cat comment above. 

For a Halloween story that is more humor than horror, check out my favorite Halloween memory here.