You were expecting a scary dude in an old-school hockey mask, weren't you? Well, let's just say he and I aren't friends, and he doesn't get to play on my blog...EVER.
Story #2421 Why Dawn Is a Big Fat Chicken!
It all goes back to a traumatic childhood event. I was staying the night with a friend, her older sister and said sister's boyfriend were watching a certain teen slasher movie that they'd just bought on VHS. That should give you some idea of the time period.
Near the very end of the movie, my friend and I wandered through the living room, looking for snacks.
"Hey, girls, y'all want to see this," Evil Boyfriend said, probably gleefully rubbing his hands together over his nefarious plans.
Now you have to understand, we were in early elementary school. The fact the cool teenagers were even acknowledging our existence was enough to make me ignore the fact I'd just watched someone's head roll across the screen.
But it was okay now. It was just a girl in a boat, floating across some serene water with music playing. It was day time. There's a cop on the shore there to save her it's all going to be okay.
My friend and I obediently sat criss-cross-apple-sauce in front of the TV.
"This part's important. Y'all gotta get real close so you can see it. It's hard to catch," Evil Boyfriend said.
We leaned closer.
Still just floating on the water.
She looks a little tired, kind of like she's had a rough day.
Closer...What's the big—? *
(insert panicked screaming here and the sound of EB's snort laughing like he'd just pulled off the prank of the century. Jerk.)
*If you've never seen the original Friday the 13th. You can watch the scene I'm talking about here. It's less than two minutes long. I would tell you to get real close to screen, but I'm not an ass.*
And I hope that Evil Boyfriend grew up to have a daughter that got scared by some teenage dork and ended up sleeping in his bed for months!
Anyway, I digress.
Since it is Friday the 13th. Let's plot swap about some bad luck stories.
Its owner said it was a total loss but at least "it made for some spectacular imagery along the way"
I have to agree with the owner. The video for this is pretty spectacular. My first thought was a rom-com between an animatronic T-Rex owner (because what romance story doesn't need more fake dinosaurs?) and the fireman who comes to extinguish the rawr-ring (see what I did there?) blaze.
But it would work for a thriller as well. Imagine: bad guy chases good guy into animatronic dinosaur exhibit and the freaking T-Rex BURST INTO FLAMES!
What do you think? Would Steven Spielberg be proud or what?
Two teenagers with a natural affinity for the sea assisted in rescuing two families -- including a 4-year-old boy and 3-month-old baby -- after the boat they were in capsized near the Florida Keys over the weekend.
This is a sweet story, especially when it talks about how they rescued the family's coolers so the four-year old could have a snack and juice box, and then one of the teenagers took off his shirt to wrap the baby in something dry.
My mind went a million different directions with this. What if the boat capsizing hadn't been an accident? What if they ended up in the middle of a domestic thriller? A man was trying to get rid of his family but these meddling kids got involved?
Later in the article it says that both of the teens are about to graduate high school. One hopes to work for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission while the other intends to study ocean engineering. What if something brings them back together ten years from now, and this is the backstory that links it all? Maybe it didn't happen exactly as they told the press and one of them is hiding something!
Got to be careful which alias you let your family use in your mother's obituary when you're a fugitive. Someone might be monitoring those things.
My thoughts on this one immediately went to the cops. Somewhere some detective was like, "Hey, did you hear that guy who escaped 37 years ago's mother died? Maybe we should check that out...HOT DAMN, get the car, Fred! We're going on a road trip!"
But what if it was a mistake? What if the story is about the person writing up the obituary and they put in the wrong name? And then the guy who got mistakenly arrested shows up demanding an apology and realizes he's met the woman (or man, whatevs) of his dreams?
And a bonus story today. This wasn't so much bad luck as bad judgment, but it cracked me up.
Personally, I think dude needs to be seek an AA meeting, rather than donations, but this could be a fun story. Kind of like The Hangover or Dude, Where's My Car? (cinematic perfection, yes, I know.) Start with the $1600 bill and work backward.
So that's our plots for this week. What do you think? Got any bad luck stories?
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