Why I can never do Yoga again

As the year winds down, I'm sharing some of my favorites from when this was my Writer in Waiting blog. Hope you enjoy. 

  NOT ME.    (Picture courtesy fo StockSnap via Pixbay.com) 

NOT ME. 

(Picture courtesy fo StockSnap via Pixbay.com) 

I want to share with you the tragic, yet true story of why I no longer do yoga. If you know me in person or have seen me try to walk across a completely clear, flat surface, and still trip, then the thought of me doing Yoga is entertaining on its own, but this particular experience brought it to a whole new level.  I hope it makes you smile this today. 

 Still not me.   (Picture courtesy of Jesslef via Pixbay.com) 

Still not me. 

(Picture courtesy of Jesslef via Pixbay.com) 

I used to love Yoga.

Did it all the time and really appreciated how it helped keep me less stressed and calm ...but one fateful morning, all that changed!

I got up like normal, laid out my mat, did my little routine with the TV (Kurt Johnsen— Yoga for Life. It used to be on Oxygen in the mornings.) I ended feeling very calm and centered. Sufficiently balanced to start my day.

 Not my feet.   (Picture courtesy of WerbeFabrik via Pixbay.com) 

Not my feet. 

(Picture courtesy of WerbeFabrik via Pixbay.com) 

Now for those of you who have never done Yoga, it is done barefoot. Just keep that in mind.

I finished my routine. Stood up and started to roll up my mat. My mind a million other places...

Did I sign that permission form? What time did Scott say he needed to get going this morning?

and the weirdest thought to have on carpet in the middle of a living room...

 Why am I standing on a ice cube??

 It did NOT look like this! 

It did NOT look like this! 

 I looked down... IT WAS A LIZARD!!!!! A baby gecko... and I was standing on it... BAREFOOT! 

All balance, centered, calmness immediately left my body!

I did get some cardio in as I RAN to the bedroom to wake up my loving husband ( Dead lizard removal falls in his skill set, not mine!)

So I am shaking him and swinging my foot around like a cat with tape on its paw, wiping it on everything I can find.

" Get up! Get up! I just stepped on a a lizard in the living room. I think I killed it! You have to get up and get rid of it!!!"

Do you know what the manly protector of my household said?

"If it is already dead, why do I have to get up right now and get rid of it?"

 Not my husband. 

Not my husband. 

I can't print what I said back to him because it wasn't very lady-like, but we'll just say it should have encouraged him to take some action, but he just rolled back over. 

I ran back into the living room ( More cardio) because I heard my daughter getting up, and I didn't want her to see the poor squished thing.

IT WASN'T THERE!!!! I

It had crawled half way across the floor. It paused, I'm assuming to look at the crazy human who tried to flatten it, then ran off and hid! 

So while I was grateful that I did not kill it.

IT WAS STILL LOOSE IN HERE SOMEWHERE!!!

Of course, after Scott refused to help me, I kept hoping it had crawled into his shoe, but no such luck.

Sadly that is why I can never do yoga again... That combined with the fact I almost had to have my right foot ( the one that touched it ) surgically removed and replaced with a new one... bathing it in lysol didn't help me much !