Why I can never do Yoga again

Thinking about Thursday

Why I Can Never Do Yoga Again
Not me.

     First of all, HUGE shout out to my Romance Biggest Winner Team ( Fantastic Four) for coming in FIRST PLACE this week! I knew we could do it! You can follow the competition at #RBW. Special thanks to Ashley March for managing the competition. Pssst, you should check out her new book Romancing the Countess

      Anyway, in honor of my team's accomplishment, I wanted to share with you the tragic, yet true story of why I no longer do yoga.  This was originally an email to a friend. I hope it makes you smile this today.  The thought of me doing yoga is pretty entertaining on its own, but I thought you might enjoy my story :)

   I used to love Yoga. Do it all the time, really enjoy it, helps keep me less stressed and calm ...but one morning, all that changed!

I got up like normal, laid out my mat, did my little routine with the TV, feeling very calm and centered. Sufficiently balanced to start my day.

Now for those of you who have never done Yoga, it is done barefoot. Just keep that in mind. I finished my routine. Stood up and started to roll up my mat. My mind a million other places... Did I sign that permission form? What time did Scott say he needed to get going this morning?
and the weirdest thought~ Why am I standing on a ice cube??

I stepped on something ice cold in the middle of my carpeted living room floor. I looked down... IT WAS A LIZARD!!!!! A baby gecko... and I stepped on it... BAREFOOT! 
It did not look like this!
All balance, centered calmness immediately left my body! I did get some cardio in as I RAN to the bedroom to wake up my loving husband ( Dead lizard removal falls in his skill set, not mine!)

So I am shaking him and swinging my foot around like a cat with tape on its paw, wiping it on everything I can find. " Get up! Get up! I just stepped on a a lizard in the living room. I think I killed it! You have to get up and get rid of it!!!"

Do you know what the manly protector of my household said, "If it is already dead, why do I have to get up right now and get rid of it??"
Not my husband
I can't print what I said back to him because it wasn't very lady like

I ran back into the living room ( More cardio) because I heard my daughter getting up and didn't want her to see the poor squished thing.

IT WASN'T THERE!!!! It had crawled half way across the floor and went it saw me took off and hid.

So while I am grateful that I did not kill it. IT IS STILL LOOSE IN HERE SOMEWHERE!!!

Of course, after Scott refused to help me, I kept hoping it had crawled into his shoe, but no such luck.

Sadly that is why I can never do yoga again... That combined with the fact I plan on having my right foot ( the one that touched it ) surgically removed and replaced with a new one... bathing it in lysol didn't help me much !